Another Legend Gone

Elizabeth Taylor has died.

She was 78. My mother always loved Liz Taylor. She loved the story about how Liz grew three inches over a summer so she could be the lead in National Velvet. Every movie I've seen her in, she's just so beautiful and graceful. Seeing her in The Taming of the Shrew should be required for all High School English courses.

I had the opportunity to see Carrie Fisher's new show last year, significant because Eddie Fisher was Liz's husband before Robert Burton. I can't recall if Eddie left Debbie Reynolds for Liz or not, but that's most likely.

I just love the stories of Old Hollywood, learned from my mother. They just don't make movies like they used to. In so many ways.

Grandma's life

As anyone who reads my blog knows, I struggle with my weight. I was thinking this morning about how my life compares to my grandma's life. She would work in the garden every day she could. She may have eaten a lot of meat and potatoes, but there were always fresh vegetables at her table. When they weren't fresh, they were veggies or fruits she'd preserved herself. Maybe if I followed her example a little more closely I would weigh a lot less. I may have to check into local farmer's markets. I did a 'Community Supported Agriculture" thing the last couple of years and ended up either giving away or throwing out most of it because I couldn't eat it all. And I don't have a big freezer. And I don't can my own veggies. And I'm tired when I get home. that's probably the biggest reason. But here I am, considering it once again, even though the couple I shared with last year isn't doing it this year. But that would mean I get to eat all the strawberries myself.

Restlessness

What's the song that goes "you calm my restlessness"? i think it's from Icehouse, late '80's. Anyway, it's been popping into my head. I've been feeling restless. Like I want a change. I'm not sure where to make the change. Usually when I get like this I start thinking about dropping out of church. It's not that I don't have a testimony, it's just that I'm tired. I'd like to just stay home all day on Sunday and play with my cats. Or watch tv. Or just not have to deal with anyone else (can you tell I'm an introvert?). Sometimes the whole not having a family thing just gets to me, and I lose the point of doing these same things over and over and over. And over and over. Everything the same. Always. Sundays always the same. Mondays through Fridays always the same, get up and go to work. Sit at my desk all day long. Pretend I care about things. Go home and try to keep from eating everything I can find (not very successfully, usually). Watch tv with the cat. Feed and attempt to play with the other cat. Always the same. Even with the play I'm in, the rehearsals have settled into a routine. Saturdays there are some variations, but usually I can't even force myself up off the couch unless I have plans with someone. And even then, I've been known to cancel at the last minute.

Am I bored? Am I tired of the routine? Am I exhibiting signs of depression? (yes, that's an issue for me, controlled with medication and an herbal remedy). Or maybe I just want it to be spring.

But it would be nice to do something different at Church. Much as I love Nursery, it's just not challenging anymore. And I really dislike being SM music conductor at the moment. Sometimes when I've had this calling I absolutely loved it. Now it's just another ordeal I have to get through every Sunday. But one doesn't ask to be released, do they? And I've made it so clear that I love Nursery, I don't think they'd even consider releasing me. Particularly since people who love Nursery are so hard to find.

So here I am, restless. Wanting a change. Or maybe a vacation. I miss having family close enough to drive to. Definitely would have gone down there a couple weekends ago. My next trip is the end of April, and it seems so far away.

As the dream disappears...

... or at least gets postponed.

My trip to China this summer has been postponed until next summer. For many reasons this is a good thing. I no longer have to worry about whether or not I can afford it, I have a whole year to save up the money. I can spend my vacation time visiting my family instead, and since next year I get an additional week of vacation it won't be as much of a sacrifice next year. I can spend more time helping with and enjoying my nieces' wedding. My friend who is going with me will be much healthier next year (she's experiencing some issues right now). So yeah, there are a lot of good things about this.

But I'm still bummed.

and next year is when my two satellites launch. Which means I may not be able to go. But we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Or maybe, " launch that rocket" ?


In other news, I'm not nearly as dizzy today. I did go to the doctor, he said it was probably some sort of inner ear virus or infection since I wasn't diplaying any other symptoms. He gave me some anti-dizziness medication and sent me home with instructions to come back if it didn't get better in a few days. It got better. Probably helped by the fact that I completly blew off everything I had planned on Saturday and stayed home and slept. Not intentionally. I went out to go to my Pilates class and my car wouldn't start. Same problem as always--it was too cold. Just to make sure I went out 20 minutes later and it started right up. Of course, then I would have been too late for Pilates, so I decided to lay down on the couch until it was time to go to the next thing in an hour and a half. Four hours later... Ok, so I didn't actually get up off the couch until around 2:30pm. Had several crazy dreams, though, like I was supposed to get up but couldn't stay awake. I hate those dreams. My cat got increasingly mad at me as I continued to lay on the couch the rest of the day. Apparently I was supposed to play with her. Plus I left the door to the basement open and Ani came up to see what was going on (we were both being very quiet at that time).

Like I said, feeling much better now. Other than being bummed about my trip to China.