Aplologies

It has been brought to my attention that there are people who have been hurt by some of my recent blogs. In an effort to let you know how I feel about some things, I have not been careful with my word choices, going for the harsher rather than the softer terminology, and I must confess in some cases I was just trying to get a reaction from someone. Anyone. Even a negative reaction since I wasn't getting any other reactions.

First, I did not intend to wish illness on anyone's children. "Spit up" would have been better than "throw up", and even better would have been not to say anything at all.

I really don't want to go through a list of reasons trying to excuse my behavior; there really is no good excuse. I will however be more considerate when I post. If you were offended, I do apologize. If you have something you want to say to me, please email me or call me and we'll work it out that way. Thank you to those who have already done so. I am usually not aware of how I am affecting other people, so I do appreciate it when people let me know.

quick update

I know, it's been a while. Yes, I've been more busy at work, which tends to affect the length and frequency of my posts. I'll be in meetings most of this week, so we'll see. Evenings are going to be busy too, as I get ready to go to South Carolina this weekend (my nevvy Jackjack is getting blessed). I did think about going to Utah instead, but financially this is the right decision.

Why would I go to Utah instead? Especially since it would only be for the weekend? Well, my Grandpa finally gave up the ghost; the funeral is on Saturday. He's at peace now. He passed away in his sleep on Friday morning. I was at home on Friday due to the ice storm (no work, yay!) so was sitting at my home computer when the email came. My dad was going to call me but thought that I would be at work. You know, I think I grieved about 4 weeks ago when I first heard. And then again two weeks later when I hadn't heard anything and freaked out. It really is a good thing--Grandpa was in his 90's, Grandma passed away almost 5 years ago, and all his children are older and self-sufficient. Lots and lots of grandchildren, lots of great-grandchildren and more on the way. He was so healthy his body took a whole month to release him.

A little about my Grandpa. He was a schoolteacher, a principal, a farmer, and a blacksmith. He served two missions later in life with his sweetheart, one to Bolivia, and the other to Nauvoo. He was the one who first started using the Blacksmith Shop as a real Blacksmith shop, building wagons and handcarts to keep busy in the slow winter months. He even built a handcart for the Winter Quarter's Visitor's Center, and in 1997, when they did that 150-year celebration/trek to Salt Lake City, someone took that handcart to Utah. I beleive it or one of its brothers is on display in one of the Church Buildings around Temble Square. To be sure, lift it up and see if you can find the stylized A on the bottom--Grandpa Allan's brand. One of his great-grandparents was a blacksmith in Nauvoo as well. Cool, huh? He was always so worried about me not being married. I hope he knows not to worry; I really am ok. I love you Grandpa. See you when I get there.

Last weekend I went to the Home and Garden Show at the Dulles Expo Center with a friend. We had fun, and managed to find way too many ideas for our budgets. I'm thinking a nice patio in my back yard, and some lilacs by the side of my house, to cover up the rather ugly-looking concrete. And make it so I don't have to mow that side anymore. I found a shed at Home Depot that I want to get (small, rubbermaid, but still looks like a shed). I also found a free-standing porch-swing that I could really get behind. When my tax return comes in, it may not last long... then again, I suppose I have to file my taxes before I can get them back.

My friend also helped me find a new toy for Padme Kitty--a lure with feathers, on a string attatched to a stick. She loves to chase it as I flick it around. She looks at me like, "Isn't it time to play now?" At least she gets more exercise this way. We've been doing pretty well.

well, I am rather short...

You're The Hobbit!

by J.R.R. Tolkien

All you wanted was a nice cup of tea when some haggard crazy old man
came into your life and told you it was time to do something with yourself. Now you're
all conflicted about whether to stick with your stay-at-home lifestyle or follow this
crazy person into the wild. While you're very short and a little furry, you seem to be
surrounded by an even greater quantity of short folks lately. Try not to lose your ring,
but keep its value in perspective!


Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

I'm IT!

Brenda tagged me, so here I am. I tag Kellie, Lindsay, and Felicity, but only if you haven't done it yet.

What time did you get up this morning?
7:30 am I'm supposed to get up earlier, but as long as I'm to work around 8:30 I don't worry about it.
Diamonds or pearls?
Pearls
What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
Mad Money. I quite liked it.
What is your favorite TV show?
I have to pick one? How about three? Lost, Medium, and I've really gotten into Torchwood lately. Gilmore Girls is no longer on the air, but it was my favorite too. And Babylon 5. I guess that's five, now, huh?
What do you usually have for breakfast?
Typically yogurt, but instant oatmeal is making a comeback.
What food do you dislike?
I still hate Lima beans. I keep thinking I'll grow out of it and try them again, but nope, still don't like them.
What is your favorite CD at the moment?
Anna Nalick (I've been 'in' to female artists for the last little while)
What kind of car do you drive?
Saturn ION. It's a great little red car!
Favorite Sandwich
Hmmm. Probably ham, cheese, and tomato with lettuce and mustard on wheat bread or in a wrap.
Favorite item of clothing?
Dresses. Pretty ones that make me look beautiful
If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go?
Denmark. A cruise of the Baltic Sea that includes Denmark.
Favorite Brand of clothing
Just My Size (they are so comfortable!)
Where would you retire to?
St George, Utah. Preferably close enough to the temple I could walk.
What is your most recent memorable birthday?
I think this is a trick question. What if my most memorable birthday wasn't a recent one? One of my favorites was going to see my sister in Cincinatti when she was there for work. We saw a show on a steamboat and had Jambalaya. Not at the same time, though.
Favorite sport to watch
Baseball, but I prefer to be at the game. Watching on TV does nothing for me.
When is your birthday?
September 25
Are you a morning person or a night person?
Night, but I'm usually unable to stay up late. I do like mornings too, though.
What is your shoe size?
6 1/2. I like having small feet :)
Pets?
Yes. I had dogs, but they were too much for me, so now I have a cat. Padme Kitty. She follows me around a lot.
Any new and exciting news you'd like to share?
Did I mention I have a new grand-niece? She was born in January, and is very, very cute.
What did you want to be when you were little?
An Astronaut
How are you today?
Fair to middle'n, as my Dad says.
What is your favorite candy?
I like Three Musketeers. And Lemon Drops. But not together.
What is your favorite flower?
Pink Roses
What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to?
February 29 (I get to go to South Carolina to see my newest nevvy be blessed)
What are you listening to right now?
Hallway conversations at work. I'm telling you, working in a trailer is really noisy.
What is the last thing you ate?
Strawberry Yogurt
Do you wish on stars?
Yes
If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
Cornflower Blue
How is the weather right now?
Cloudy and cold. They say it may rain. Kitty wanted to go outside this morning, but was out for all of two seconds before she darted back inside.
Last person you spoke to on the phone.
My Dad.
Favorite Soft Drink
I don't drink a lot of soda, but I tend to go for either Sprite or Rootbeer when I do. I prefer Lemonade when I'm not drinking water.
Favorite Resturant
Again with the having to chose just one! I like Applebees, Ruby Tuesdays, and Hunan Manor. And several more I can't think of right now. I'm not sure I have an absolute favorite, although I really liked a little Vietnamese restaurant in Iowa City when I was there. And Breugger's Bagels. And--I should stop now, huh?
Hair Color
Blonde, and getting lighter all the time (I hope it just goes white eventually)
What was your favorite toy as a child?
The doll my mom made for me.
Summer or winter
Neither. I like Fall
Hugs or kisses
Hugs
Chocolate or vanilla
Is this a trick question?
When was the last time you cried?
Last Friday morning. I was having a meltdown at work. Unrelated to work, but a meltdown just the same.
What is under your bed?
My suitcases, a box full of empty doll boxes, and a box of clothes I can't fit into right now but don't want to get rid of.
What did you do last night?
Went to a surprise birthday party for a friend. It was really fun.
What are you afraid of?
Dying and no one finding my body for days.
Salty or sweet
Salty. I can't stay out of the potato chips, so I'm not allowed to buy them anymore.
Favorite day of the week?
Friday.
How many towns have you lived in?
Hmm, let me think. Fontana CA, Rexburg ID, Logan UT, Athens GA, Iowa City IA, Mesa AZ, Greenbelt MD, Jessup MD, Laurel MD. 9. Thought it might be more, but I guess not.
Do you make friends easily?
Nope.

Horrific week

The first week of any given month tends to be really busy for me. This past week was no different, but for some reason seemed to be worse than usual. Could it have been the lack of sleep?

I had something every night, almost, last week. I tend to get stressed out easily if I don't have some 'home' time, and by Wednesday I was starting to get a little depressed. Lack of sleep was mostly due to trying to finish the book for Thursday's book club meeting, which I really figured I should do, since I had picked the book, and was supposed to host the meeting ("Galileo's Daughter" by Dava Sobel--very good, btw).

Monday was Family Home Evening at a friend's house--a Single Adult activity for my ward. It was fun, as always. These friends have four girls ranging from almost 8 to less than 1, and it's so funny to see them try to out-do one another. Even the littleist was happy to have me hold her by the end of the evening (not something she normally does).

Tuesday night was the Single Adult Stake Committee Meeting, for which I met up with my co-chairperson beforehand to try to figure out what types of things we should be doing. Both I felt were productive meetings, but again, gone all evening and much reading to do. And I had to watch the last hour of Biggest Loser (not too surprised about Jackie).

Wednesday night I went out to DSW shoe warehouse--my good black shoes have started leaking, so I needed new ones. Didn't find them, but I did manage to find a new pair of exercise shoes, which was also on the list. After which I went to the grocery store to buy the stuff for Thursday night. Of course, before all this shopping I recieved a request to switch the venue for the book club--her babysitter had backed out at the last moment. I wasn't happy about it, but I did remind myself that people are more important than things, and it really wasn't *that* much of an inconvenience to pack up all the snackies and cart them over to her house. If so, it would be my own fault for trying to do too much. By this time the lack of sleep had started to affect me--I was getting depressed and more than a little "I have no friends!/no one understands me!"

Thursday was the aforementioned Book Club meeting. After my Chiropractor appt which I hadn't thought was a problem to schedule that evening but since it was one more thing on the to-do list it really didn't help matters. Got to book club ok, though, early so I could set out the yummies. The other women showed up, we discussed the book, and then, as usually happens, moved on to other topics. I sat there listening to them, more than a little tired. It took me more than a couple moments to figure out they were dissing Star Wars, and then they started talking about marital relationships. I tried to make a comment--I tried twice, actually--and when no one heard me, I decided it was time to leave. So I packed up my stuff and left. I tried to slip out quietly, but wasn't completely successful. So it was good it wasn't at my house, because I couldn't have just kicked them out, that would have been rude (but was what I did any less rude? not sure). I've decided I really don't need to participate in this club anymore. All the women that come are about 10 years younger than me, they all are married and have children, and I have nothing, really, in common with them, other than church. I've had it with the potty-training stories, and any story I may share is really second-hand, so they don't care. I really believe I have more in common with their husbands, since most of their husbands like science fiction and have to work and stuff like that, but I can't just go hang out with their husbands. That would not be 'avoiding the appearance of evil', which is a whole other topic I don't want to go into right now.

Friday I had a little meltdown at work. Background information, my Grandpa is dying. We found out about two weeks ago that he's been sleeping his life away. Apparently, after leading a long full life, his body is too strong to just let him go, so he's sleeping himself into oblivion. Don't feel to bad, though, he is in his 90's, and it was a long, full life. My Grandma passed away in 2003, so he really has no reason to stay here. The hardest part is that it's taking so long. The waiting is really awful. Since we hadn't heard anything for about two weeks, I had convinced myself that he had passed away and no one had told me (and yes, that has happened to me before, when one of my uncles passed away and I found out about a month later). So I freaked out, but then I said a little prayer and sent an email to my family to see if they had heard anything. They hadn't, and they were getting a little worried as well. I called my Aunt after I got home from work, and she reassured me that he was still among the living. My Dad also called me on Sunday to reassure me that he would definitely let me know. (You see, I really do have good reasons for my fears--I have them because I have experienced them). I did get to stay home Friday night, but stayed up way too late catching up on the shows I had recorded all week long.

Saturday was very, very long. Individually all the activities were good, but since they were all on the same day... It started at 8:00 am with a world-wide Church Leadership broadcast. I had previously scheduled an RPG session with some friends, or I could have gone to the later one at 2:00pm. I had time between the broadcast and RPG so I went to Payless and bought two pairs of shoes that I think are the end of my shoe-shopping quest. yay. RPG was good, except that our group of adventurers managed to get our cleric killed yet again. We keep losing our clerics. Not good. Then it was time to go home for a little nap and get ready for the potluck/Single Adult committee meeting for the upcoming SA Conference in June/dance/party. It was a good thing my freind and I carpooled, because I was so tired and cranky I probably would have left much earlier, or not gone at all. They had a live band, and it was really fun, but I was so tired...

Sunday was again up early for a church meeting at 7:00 AM, brief choir practice at 8:30 am (we were performing) church at 9:00am (three hours long, I was going to leave early but my friend needed a ride home from choir practice. Her husband promised me dinner so I agreed). I got to hold another friend's baby, too, so it's all good. I was thinking, though, that there are weeks that go by and I have no human contact at all--no hugs or touch or anything like that. If it's true that we need 5 hugs per day just to survive, then I'm not surviving. Maybe my cat helps with that. Holding babies definitely does. So I did stay for choir after church, took my friend home, had dinner with her and her husband, whose meeting was cancelled (the reason why he couldn't take his wife home), then went home and slept and slept and slept. Padme Kitty kept trying to wake me up, but wasn't successful. I caught up on more tv shows, really just the ones from Saturday night, managed to be awake when my Dad called at 9:45pm (it was only 6:45pm for him), and then went blessedly to bed.

I do feel much better today. And I've lost over 5 lbs since I started Weight Watchers in January. Yay for me! I have far less to do this week, so I should be good. And no more reading past midnight!!

Quote of the Day:

Where's my brain today? I need it!

Spoken at work, after a phone conversation where I completely blanked on everything I was asked.

Hmm, maybe this is why i keep getting asked to sub in Primary...

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