Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Earth Day!

Time to go outside and plant a tree, everyone! Or just hug one. Do something today that you wouldn't normally do to let the Earth know you love and appreciate her!

Although I wonder sometimes why we think the Earth is female. I suppose it's her nurturing nature (hah! get it? Nature?). As a member of the Church we do know that the Earth has fulfilled her duties and will be celestialized when the time comes. What a wonderful thing, to be the Earth. And what a wonderful world it is that we live in.


Life as I know it
In other news, well, my life is progressing normally. Work, church, tv. I did get out into my back yard this week, though, and finally spread out the mulch that I bought last year. Yup, it's been sitting in my yard for over a year. I hope the worms appreciate their new home, surrounding my tree in the back yard. The ants, too. I don't really like ants, but as long as they stay outside I will suffer them to live. I understand baby powder is great for killing ants... Oh, whoops, I suppose I should talk about killing things on Earth Day, even bugs.


I went to my sister's for Easter, not sure if I mentioned that. I haven't downloaded the pictures from my camera yet, though. It was great fun. Dad and his wife, and Doug's parents were there, all of us in the same house. Malena had her baptism on Sunday, which was also her birthday, so that was fun. Jack was so very cute (he's the 2-year-old). Maybe because I'm in Nursery, I just seem to relate better to 2-year-olds these days. We played a lot. It was funny, we went for a walk, and he would say, "run!" and we would run for about 30 seconds, and then we'd walk, and then he'd sayd "run!" and then we'd repeat the process. I wonder if he saw me doing my running homework that morning? It was very cute.

On the 10th I went to the movies with my friends--Clash of the Titans in 3D. I think I have to add Sam Worthington to my List. You know, the one I keep of really cute actors that I like. He can join fellow Aussie Hugh Jackman. He's cute, and strong, and (at least in this movie) saves people. It's great. He saved them in Avatar as well. Not so much in Terminator last summer, but he spent most of the movie being confused as to who he was and what his purpose was. Before he realized he was a Terminator. Anyway, I liked that movie too. He's great. Review is on my sidebar ->

Last weekend I had a lot of great plans in my head. I started out strong at the Relief Society service project, but then allowed myself to get lunch on the way home, and that was pretty much it for the rest of the day. I'd get up to let Kitty in or out, but that was it. I have *got* to keep to the plan! I could have my whole back yard finished by now! Instead of just being caught up on all my tv shows. What happens to my priorities when I sit down to eat, anyway? Yikes!

Single Adult Madness
There was a fireside on Sunday evening for the SA in the DC area. Pres Jensen of the Presidency of the Quorum of the 70 was there, and it was great. Among all the other things we talked about, his point was that we need to become better learners. Not just teachers, but learners as well. He held a Q&A session that was really great. He told us before we started that not all questions are created equal--that we had three special witness of Christ available to us (Elders Hardy and one of the new guys were also there), so keep that in mind. We still had one guy who always askes about why divorced men can't hold certain callings (you'd think he'd have learned the answer by now), but the Seventies always answered appropriately. Like the girl who wanted to promote unity within the SA program and was told, essentially, that unity comes when we seek to be like Christ--vertically first, then horizontally (probably made more sense that night than what I've been able to write here).

I get really frustrated with people in the SA program who seem to think they need their own version of the church. That the SA should be doing everything for themselves, even to getting their own wards and such. Yes, it's hard being single in a family church, but the gospel isn't about who's single or who's married, it's about returning home with honor. Seeking to be like Christ, and attaining eternal salvation with Him. Seriously, these people have to get over their singleness! Stay in the family ward and make it better, don't just whine, cry, and leave when you can't get your way! Grow up! Oops, probably went a little far there...

Once more into the breach...
Ok, so that's a little dramatic, but appropriate. I'm headed to a Single Adult Conference this weekend in Richmond, VA. Scott will be there--the cute boy I met at the NYE conference. Too bad he'd already met a girl before I showed up (curses!!). He may have a friend, though. I know, it's too much to ask for an 'instant relationship', and I'm certainly not looking to find The One and get married in the next month, but it would be nice to have Something Good happen.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

So... Tired...

OK, I know I have no place to complain, but I am TIRED! I did my running homework and then had my running class three days in a row this week. Good thing I have choir practice tonight or I might have talked myself into going again tonight. I guess choir is good for something, huh?

I was good about going to bed early on Sunday night. So early that my body was like, "What are we laying down for now? It's not time to go to sleep..." Monday night I was good too. Tuesday night I was watching LOST, and V comes on right after that. Although V is really starting to freak me out. I don't think it's hit the 'train wreck' phase for me yet, though. You know, where you just can't look away even though you know you should?

Last night I stayed up late as well, finally doing my taxes (I know, I'm bad, but at least I didn't wait until tonight). I don't know whether to be happy or sad. I owe the Federal government, but the State owes me. In fact, the amount the State owes me is exactly what I owe the Federal Government. Plus one dollar. On the one hand, I broke even. On the other hand, I kind of wanted a tax refund for paying off of bills and to finance a trip I want to take in May.

Sheesh. One dollar. 99 cent menu anyone? I guess I can go to the dollar store? Tip for a $5 meal? Do they have $5 meals at places where you need to tip? Or maybe I can 'super-size' it. Whatever 'it' is. Sheesh.

Friday, April 9, 2010

Of families and failures

Selfish Brat
Apparently I'm a selfish brat. Three of my eight siblings think so, anyway. Doesn't matter what I say or try to do, I'm apparently only motivated by selfish feelings. I try to let them know how I feel when they treat me badly and I'm suddenly too sensitive. I don't tell them how I feel and they walk all over me. Like I don't matter. Then they have the nerve to tell me that even if they forget me most of the time, I'm still family, they still love me, and if I ever became homeless I could live with them. Like I would. I'd rather be homeless than live somewhere where I'm going to be judged as stupid and incompetent, selfish and rude. Like I'd even let them know how I feel or what's going on with me since they'll just put it through their 'selifish brat' filter and determine that I deserve it. Adversity is a part of life and if they forget me at Christmastime I should just deal with it.

Doesn't seem like such a big deal, does it? Being forgotten at Christmastime? How about the year my Mom died and they forgot me? How about the year everything was going wrong and a simple kind thing would have made such a difference, but they forgot me. Consider that I have serious depression, currently treated with medication. Before I got treatment, though, there was an actual suicide attempt. Because I was convinced my family didn't love me. Seems silly and selfish of me, huh? Being forgotten, left out, or ignored by the very people who claim to love me the most. Really? They care about me? Seriously?

Fortunately, like I said, five of them do actually behave like they don't mind having me around. They don't put everything I say into the 'oh she's just being selfish again' filter.

Sorry, I just had to rant. Now the whole world knows that three of my siblings are, in fact, unwilling to let me progress past my teenage years when I probably was a selfish brat. Most teenagers are, after all. Including them.

Easter
I had a lovely Easter. I went to my sister B's house. She's great. My niece was having her 8th birthday on Easter Sunday, and my sister and her husband were able to arrange for their daughter to be baptized on that same day. Before General Conference (also on that day). Both sets of grandparents came, too. A very full house, but it was fun. We did an Easter Egg hunt at her church between the Saturday sessions of Conference, had a couple of potlucks, one each day (at which there was no green salad!!), and listened to Conference on the internet at her house. I was able to spend a lot of quality time with the 2-year-old, since B had everyone painting cabinets in the kitchen. Paint + toddler doesn't go very well. So we went outside and played. B could work in peace, I got to play with J, and everyone was happy. The other kids were helping their grandma clean out the mini-van, so it would be clean for Sunday. They may not have been quite so happy, come to think of it.

Running
I've been progressing with my running. I've gone to two classes and done my homework (two workouts in-between classes, which are held once a week). I bought new running shoes, and I'll be trying them out tomorrow. It's not much fun while doing it, but it feels really good afterwards. I've managed to undo all the damage I did over Easter weekend, with all the poor choices I was presented with for eating. Now, it wasn't my sister's fault. Like I said, two potlucks. No vegetables at either one. And me giving into my cravings for all that yummy food. It's really hard watching what I eat and trying to make good choices sometimes. Good thing there's running.

TV
With work and church being pretty much the same, the only other thing I really do is watch TV. I'm currently watching:
Monday: Chuck, Life Unexpected, Castle
Tuesday: NCIS, LOST, V, The Good Wife
Wednesday: Human Target, In Plain Sight
Thursday:The Mentalist
Friday: Who do you think you are, Medium, Stargate Universe, Merlin

I have more shows that I follow, but these are the only ones on right now. In the summertime I'll be adding Leverage, Burn Notice, and Royal Pains. Maybe a few more. Cause I'm a selfish brat and can't be bothered to do anything else. Just ask my cat.